>>> This is the second part (2/2) of our interview with Nese Ulusan <<<
What kind of a society will we be living in twenty years on this perspective?
Even though differences exist in Turkish society we seem to be ruled by a group of collectivist social norms. When we look at Western societies, individualism is more prominent. Individualism is a structure that lets the person to live his own life defending his individual’s rights, wishes and needs. Western people are also using technology they use more accurate but they are aware of their autonomy more.
In our society, we have transformed individualism to selfishness. We have a narcissistic structuring. People are following the others’ life styles, cars, clothes, vacation spots and begin to follow the path and be more selfish, egocentric and self-glorifying. What they see may drop their own self-worth and lead to narcissistic defense.
They begin to change their outfits or buy most luxury cars to compensate the fragility. Besides the material aspects, behaviors may change also. For example; the attitude towards service staff when they go to a restaurant and how they present it to their friends change. All of them feeds the narcissistic tendencies of individuals. To maintain that image created in the virtual world and try to realize it in the real life creates a gap.
Actually we are only using the technology, not developing it.
Our society is defining being modernized and keeping up with the western society as using the technology as much as they do. The level of improvement is presented as the level of technology usage. As a country do we produce science, new ideas or technology? The answer is ‘No’. We are dependent to scientifically developed people. We raise generations who know how to use things but they are not motivated to produce science.
People are using social media as a showcase. Criticism in Turkey is much tougher. Is this a cultural difference?
Yes, definitely we see it more in our society. For example, in Europe people do not care what you wear or your weight. Their relationships do not base on your appearance or reputation. In our society there are different stereotypes. We care more about others’ perspective. On one hand the materialist perspective on the other hand the self-definition created according to others’ plays a role.
People make though comments, even they swear and then they claim that they express themselves openly. They’re counting social norms and etiquette as nothing. Is this really acting like yourself?
No, absolutely not. An individual shall be able to tolerate things that disturb her. When someone expresses an opinion, the other person may have another idea. It does not mean that any of the opinions declared, is right or wrong. There is a defense opinion for each opinion, so the individual needs to develop defense. Her correspondent may have a different idea, a lifestyle and lifestyle expectations. If we look at the ruthless criticism in the comments, it is not being ourselves. On one hand it means being thoughtless, not listening, not showing empathy, on other hand seeing herself superior and try to crush the others to compensate her own vulnerabilities.
Pandora’s Box has been opened and everyone got used to behave in this way. Will it continue like this?
Our society does not comply with the rules. We interpreted the concept of autonomy that we get from the West as selfishness. Autonomy concept is received, but it is converted and misused. Where will this take us? Not to a good place. We come to the same point that the way to compensate it is to be own self. It is important to mention the family here. How does the wrong usage of technology affect the family and interfere the relations?
An individual should take the effect of their self-definition and development of pathology into account. For example; during the dinner at home if everyone lives in their own world messaging on their phones, trying to exist in the virtual world, the youngest person in the community feels disregarded and tries to find different ways to take his own families’ attention. This starts a pathology development.
What should be done to avoid children to have pathology?
The time shared in the house shall be balanced. There are people who get hurt. I do not say completely to copal technology from our lives. The family plays a quite important role for the individual to create interrelations that he can be accepted by others and also he can learn to accept the others. Family members shall talk about their day and pour out their grievances. Tablets, computers shall be left aside. If individuals talk on topics like science or life and share different mindset even in a subject, the individual will understand how to improve a healthy dialogue with people. If he can be accepted inside the family, the autonomy on the road towards being as his own improves and the individual gets prepared for the outside world .If the individual has no acceptance in the family, he steps back. Then he begins to develop depressive features. He mirrors himself with the image that he created in the virtual world. He tries to find someone to accept him as he is and begins to create a fiction of his own to create followers.
What should be the age for a child to start using a mobile phone?
I can say junior high school would be appropriate. For example, the family will need it for communication. She can go out on her own. Technology usage for fun can take the place of social or individual activity that can improve ability. That restricts the area to improve. In particular, it is critical that the family controls the hours spent in front of the television first three, four years. Families allow their kids to play with electronic devices so that they can rest. This is so wrong. They even do not know how their kids are negatively affected and what kind of a self-structuring they let their kids to go in. These issues need to be managed more carefully.
Z Gen was born into a world of technology. Z Gen’s kids will be born into a family totally integrated with technology. How will their self-development be possible?
Egocentric individuals, who prone to use every moment technology and maybe even with narcissistic structure can easily destroy relations. They may even have borderline personality disorder features. So their kids will be probably more selfish, more self-centered, and narcissistic and will continue to be the ring of the chain.
Thank you very much.
>>> This is the end of second part (2/2) of our interview with Nese Ulusan <<<
You can watch the second part of video interview with Clinical Psychologist Nese Ulusan below in Turkish.